Take Me Back

Hey friends and family! It’s been awhile since I logged on here, I guess that’s part of the process of transitioning home. I got home from the race 2 months ago. It’s been 2 months of grieving the last 9 months living in community, transitioning to life in the states, having grace for myself and others, celebrating life and the people in it (I’ll get to that later), and trying my hardest to apply the mission mindset to life home. This season of life has been crazy- so many highs and lows. Praising the Lord for both!! 

Leading up to debrief in the Dominican I was feeling ready as could be. I’ll be honest- I was sick of living in a bug infested room without hot water. I missed my family and house back in Rhode Island. I wanted to go home to my boyfriend who I hadn’t seen in months. I was counting down the days, hours, and minutes until I touched foot in the states. In the moment I knew that wasn’t a great mindset but I couldn’t help that’s what I felt. Looking back I’ll admit I wish I listened to my community more. Soaked in all the time I had with them and at ministry (even if it didn’t seem fun in the moment). Coming home was great, and for the first few weeks I enjoyed just what I missed. Spending time with all the people I missed, taking hot showers, eating homemade meals. It was great until I realized I had been so busy that I didn’t take time to process the last 9 months. On the race we talk a lot about processing our emotions and grieving past seasons but that was exactly what I was forgetting to do. I thought that because life was going so good at home that I would just cling to that joy instead of relying on the Lord’s joy.  Now I often find myself missing the days without all those privileges; days where jumping in the poo; after ministry was counted as our weekly shower, days where rice and beans hit the spot a little extra, days spent with friends (and no wifi). In this season the Lord’s been teaching me what it means to endure and find joy in HIS presence. It’s also been a season of reflection and thanks for the last 9 months. The song “Take Me Back” has constantly been playing in my head and reminding me to pursue God with the same passion and fear I did when I first truly met Him. 

For all future racers- if there’s one piece of advice I can give you it would be to surrender life at home for the time you’re away. Have all the dance parties, make the best of long ministry days and reward yourself with uber eats. Seek the Lord in every single moment throughout the day because He’s the only one who will bring you true peace and happiness. Press into His Word and allow it to fill you up so much that you’re able to pour out with His overflow. Have so much fun and laugh so hard you pee your pants. Have hammock sleepovers with your besties. Try all the new foods in every country. Go out and explore. Rest of sabbath- you’ll need it for the next week. Don’t overthink it all… just enjoy living life with God as your best friend!!!

Alsoooo… For those of you who don’t know… I also just recently got ENGAGED to the absolute love of my life. Remember that boy that I wasn’t really allowed to date on the race, yeah he popped the question. Woohoooo!! That’s a story for another time so let me know if you’re interested how the Lord has worked in our lives and brought us together <3 Thank you God for your faithfulness and goodness!!!! 

With that said this season has definitely been full of emotions. God is so good in the mountains and valleys, highs and lows. He’s with us in the happiest moments where you feel like life literally couldn’t get any better, and He’s with us when we’re feeling lonely or anxious. Seasons change (A LOT), but His love for us stays the same no matter what. Praise Jesus for that! A lot that chases us down and is always waiting for us with a smile on His face. 

Some songs that have helped me in this season:

“Take Me Back” -Maverick City

“Man of Your Word” – Maverick City

“Simple Gospel” -United Pursuit

“Closer” -Maverick City

“Man of Sorrows” -Hillsong Worship

“Found” -Chris Renzema

“Build My Life” -Housefires

“Run to the Father” -Cody Carnes